With the New Year in full swing, resolutions or goals set in place, the question becomes: Are you following through on your goals and resolutions? Are you taking the steps you laid out for yourself? I hope you are well on your way to a new and glorious year, but if you are struggling with those resolutions, or haven't been able to set out clear and specific step by step goals for yourself, then I have a challenge for you. I came up with this idea based on the ideas in my Seven Keys to Happiness program.
We often overwhelm ourselves when we want to make changes in our lives by setting goals with no clear cut path to achieving them. Saying I want to lose twenty pounds is a great goal to have, but how are you going to achieve it? Finding a new job as a goal is fine, but what will that require of you? So here's the ten minute challenge: every day set aside just ten minutes towards achieving your goals. Just ten minutes a day will make a difference because most of us, by the end of January aren't spending even a second thinking about those goals. What then do you do with those ten minutes? You take one step towards your goal. Want to lose weight? Use the ten minutes to change one habit, so instead of grabbing a hand full of chips for a snack, you cut up an apple and you do this every day until it becomes a habit. Need to change jobs? Spend ten minutes every day researching the job you want to attain and writing down the steps necessary to achieve it. Want to change your attitude? Spend ten minutes reading something positive everyday. Ten minutes is not much to give when you consider the number of minutes most people watch television. Give this a try and once ten minutes is part of your daily routine, you will probably find yourself allotting more and more time towards improving your life in all manners. Take the ten minute challenge for thirty days, that is all it takes to begin new habits that can change your life.
I am a strong advocate for the power of writing. Writing forces your brain to think differently and more precisely. Take the time to write in your journal and if you are working on achieving goals, I guarantee you, there will be a change in your ability to follow through when you write the goals down and then write about your progress! Take the challenge and choose happiness!
Divorce is by far one of the most stressful life events anyone can face. Dealing with the anger, letdown, and the emotional ups and downs can be difficult. Likewise, remarriage often results in stressful situations as well. This blog is for those looking to move forward, forgive, and embrace a new life.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thursday, January 7, 2010
When friendship with an ex is too much
I read a posting in a divorce community today from a woman who stated her ex wants to be "best friends," that he wants no other woman in his life but her, however, has no intention of remarriage or even a committed relationship. She says to add to this, she is depressed and doesn't know what to do. As I read that, my heart just ached for her because she is stuck in limbo, a horrific limbo, of still desperately wanting that relationship and unable to move forward on the slim chance he might change his mind. I'm afraid the likelihood of this ending well is slim. If they were both committed to working on the relationship and moving towards the possibility of remarriage I would tell her to go for it if that's what she wants, but under the circumstances, my guess is he just wants to keep her in a holding pattern until he finds someone else and I can only imagine the heartache that will then occur. Even if he truly just wants to remain "best friends" this is not healthy for either person. While being friendly with your ex is great for everyone involved, especially the kids, going further than that is going to hurt someone more than likely.
Creating distance from your ex is necessary to allow yourself the room to move forward. If there are children involved requiring your continued communication, that's fine, but keep your private life private. And don't worry about the kids, according to resources I've read, and based on my own experience, your children will keep your private life just that without any prodding from either one of you. Just let them be at ease without the directive "don't tell your dad" or "don't tell your mom." This puts a lot of pressure on them and begins the secrets and lies that can and will destroy any relationship. Now that said, if you are on any of the social networking sites out there, remember, if you want to keep something private, don't post it!
Take steps to move forward by seeking new friendships, involving yourself in activities you've always wanted to try, joining an organization you might find interesting or taking a class through an extended learning program. Once you start meeting new friends and actively moving away from your ex, this will make moving forward that much easier. It's not easy to put the past behind, but by taking baby steps in that direction, eventually you will be striding forward with purpose!
Spend some time in your journal writing about interests you might like to explore and how you might meet some new people. I know this can be tough if living in a small town, but even tweaking your relationship circle slightly may result in big changes down the road.
Choose Happiness!
Creating distance from your ex is necessary to allow yourself the room to move forward. If there are children involved requiring your continued communication, that's fine, but keep your private life private. And don't worry about the kids, according to resources I've read, and based on my own experience, your children will keep your private life just that without any prodding from either one of you. Just let them be at ease without the directive "don't tell your dad" or "don't tell your mom." This puts a lot of pressure on them and begins the secrets and lies that can and will destroy any relationship. Now that said, if you are on any of the social networking sites out there, remember, if you want to keep something private, don't post it!
Take steps to move forward by seeking new friendships, involving yourself in activities you've always wanted to try, joining an organization you might find interesting or taking a class through an extended learning program. Once you start meeting new friends and actively moving away from your ex, this will make moving forward that much easier. It's not easy to put the past behind, but by taking baby steps in that direction, eventually you will be striding forward with purpose!
Spend some time in your journal writing about interests you might like to explore and how you might meet some new people. I know this can be tough if living in a small town, but even tweaking your relationship circle slightly may result in big changes down the road.
Choose Happiness!
Monday, January 4, 2010
Goals for the New Year!
2010! New Year and New Decade! I have been working on my goals for this year and enjoying making the plans for a new year. There is something definitely exciting about the chance to start anew; to look at the coming year as a new beginning no matter what the last entailed. I love that feeling of promise it brings. I am also planning out my weekly calendar as well, with goals that should be accomplished each day. I've never taken this step before, but working mostly from home has made me realize that the day to day planning is what makes or breaks any goals I set for myself.
In my last blog entry I talked about setting your goals. I hope you have all been taking some time to do so. After a divorce, when much is riding on your shoulders, this can make the difference between constant frustration or confident movement forward. I always have at least one goal pertaining to weight and this year is no different. I have yoyo'd about thirty pounds of unnecessary weight on and off for so long that I sometimes thought it was futile to keep trying, but this last year I managed to keep my weight under a goal weight that I set for myself and this year I'm going to move it down five more pounds and try holding steady there. This has worked far better than any other method I've ever tried. I also have made a far greater effort to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, more fish, and less sugar without evoking the "d" word and amazingly this has helped too. So again, no "d" for me this year, just a steady diet of good, healthy, as close to nature food as possible and a steady walk/run routine six days a week and I think I can lose another five and stay below that set weight the entire year! And by the way, I never even gave up my daily dose of dark chocolate and a glass of red wine, and it still worked!
Set your goals and go at them with all your might! Life is too short and too sweet to do less! Write as you go, and you will find that journaling can help you stay on target. Good luck! Choose Happiness!
In my last blog entry I talked about setting your goals. I hope you have all been taking some time to do so. After a divorce, when much is riding on your shoulders, this can make the difference between constant frustration or confident movement forward. I always have at least one goal pertaining to weight and this year is no different. I have yoyo'd about thirty pounds of unnecessary weight on and off for so long that I sometimes thought it was futile to keep trying, but this last year I managed to keep my weight under a goal weight that I set for myself and this year I'm going to move it down five more pounds and try holding steady there. This has worked far better than any other method I've ever tried. I also have made a far greater effort to eat lots of fruits and vegetables, more fish, and less sugar without evoking the "d" word and amazingly this has helped too. So again, no "d" for me this year, just a steady diet of good, healthy, as close to nature food as possible and a steady walk/run routine six days a week and I think I can lose another five and stay below that set weight the entire year! And by the way, I never even gave up my daily dose of dark chocolate and a glass of red wine, and it still worked!
Set your goals and go at them with all your might! Life is too short and too sweet to do less! Write as you go, and you will find that journaling can help you stay on target. Good luck! Choose Happiness!
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Happy New Year!
A New Year brings such promise! A new beginning! A chance to start over! Resolutions to be made! As a child, when I learned about making resolutions, I would make mine for the New Year and be so excited about doing something which seemed so grown-up. But just like most grown-ups, I didn’t keep them for long and then they were forgotten until the next New Year’s Eve rolled around and the process started over. During my young adult years I continued the process, with of course more serious resolutions, like losing weight, working out more, and promising myself to stop eating chocolate, but just as I had done as a child, I soon forgot my resolutions and was back to my old habits. I eventually decided resolutions were pointless and quit all together. However, around the time of my divorce, I decided that instead of making resolutions, I would set my goals for the year and what a difference this change of mind made for me. Setting goals became something real and concrete, unlike resolutions that were just unkept promises to myself.
After divorce, life can become so chaotic and feel so unsure that making resolutions just seems like another chore to accomplish and the last thing you want to think about, but now is not the time to languish in self pity. If you, like me, have found resolutions a waste of time, then think about setting goals for yourself and begin to decide what you want your life to look like now. I believe one reason we don’t allow ourselves to do this after divorce is there is a part of us that cannot believe it’s over, no matter how bad it was, and that to make plans brings a finality we might not want to acknowledge. However, the marriage is over. Wasting time is not going to change that fact. Are you going to languish or are you going to live?
Take some time over this long weekend to either make resolutions if those work for you, or to set some goals for the coming year. Maybe you want to find a new job, then set your goal on doing so and write out each step required to attain that new job. Or maybe getting the house in order is your goal. Whatever your major goals are for the year, map out the small step by step goals to help yourself achieve the overall pinnacle. Happiness comes from living your life with purpose. Make this year your best ever! Choose the happiness you deserve and go for it! Or maybe I should say GOAL for it! Happy New Year! (Tip: If goal setting is difficult for you, check out Brian Tracy’s Goals! How to Get Everything You Want-Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible. This is one of my highly recommended reads.)
After divorce, life can become so chaotic and feel so unsure that making resolutions just seems like another chore to accomplish and the last thing you want to think about, but now is not the time to languish in self pity. If you, like me, have found resolutions a waste of time, then think about setting goals for yourself and begin to decide what you want your life to look like now. I believe one reason we don’t allow ourselves to do this after divorce is there is a part of us that cannot believe it’s over, no matter how bad it was, and that to make plans brings a finality we might not want to acknowledge. However, the marriage is over. Wasting time is not going to change that fact. Are you going to languish or are you going to live?
Take some time over this long weekend to either make resolutions if those work for you, or to set some goals for the coming year. Maybe you want to find a new job, then set your goal on doing so and write out each step required to attain that new job. Or maybe getting the house in order is your goal. Whatever your major goals are for the year, map out the small step by step goals to help yourself achieve the overall pinnacle. Happiness comes from living your life with purpose. Make this year your best ever! Choose the happiness you deserve and go for it! Or maybe I should say GOAL for it! Happy New Year! (Tip: If goal setting is difficult for you, check out Brian Tracy’s Goals! How to Get Everything You Want-Faster Than You Ever Thought Possible. This is one of my highly recommended reads.)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
"I'll be home for Christmas!"
About twenty years ago, sitting by myself in an almost empty movie theatre, Christmas music played over the speakers. This was long before commercials blasted away preceding a movie. As I waited for the lights to dim and the previews to start, I could hear the conversation of two elderly ladies seated several rows behind me. I wasn't paying much attention until "I'll be home for Christmas" began playing and one of them said, "oh, this takes me back" and the other replied, "yes, yes! Me too!" Their conversation then went on about how they had been waiting for their brothers, and one for her husband during World War II when this song was written and played at Christmas time. My eyes filled with tears listening to their remembrances and to this day this song brings tears to my eyes.
Being "home" for Christmas is so important to each of us in a different way. Growing up in an Air Force family, "home" to my parents meant Missouri. We would often travel "home" for Christmas to spend time with my grandparents, spending part of the holiday with my mom's family and part with my dad's. In 1967 my father was stationed in Los Alamos, NM. It had already snowed twelve inches by the time we left Los Alamos after school that day and we made it only to Tucumcari, NM that night after hours of treacherous roads, the plan having been to go to Oklahoma City, we were disappointed to make it only this far, but we saw so many vehicles off the road, we felt lucky. The most striking sight I saw on that trip was a semi-truck turned over and all it's oranges spilled onto the side of the road in the snow. It was magical to me as a child of eight to see all that orange scattered across the snow. What should have been a two day trip turned into three, but we made it unscathed and my parents were relieved to be home, and my sisters and I were just excited for Christmas and cousins.
When the economy turned bad last year, Steve and I moved our belongings from our occasional apartment in Salem, OR which his company leased for us while there on business, but had to let go, back to our home in Memphis. We left there in four inches of snow and crept just in front of the worst of the storm across Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Nebraska, Missouri and into Memphis. We so looked forward to being home for Christmas and arrived two days before our annual Christmas party, relieved to be safe. How grateful we were then to be able to celebrate with our friends and family and enjoy our time with them.
When our church worship leader did a special tribute for families this past Sunday and sang "I'll be home for Christmas," I started down this memory lane that I've shared with you and started thinking about "home" and all the different connotations it has for me. When you spend your childhood moving every few years, you soon realize home is where the heart is, where family abides, where those you love most in the world live. I do not have a childhood home, but I do not see this as a disadvantage. It has made my life better to know that relationships matter more than any material goods, that a house is just a house until you make it a home, and that regardless of the miles that separate us from those we love, our hearts are bound in love and thankfulness for the times we have spent together. My "home" now is where I abide with my husband in love.
I remember well the first Christmas after divorce when "home" felt so scattered, so undefinable, and well, depressing, but there was solace in knowing that regardless of the loss of this one relationship, I still had the love of my children, my family and friends and this is how I pulled myself through the holidays. I encourage you if this is your first Christmas divorced to cling to the other relationships in your life and look to all the love there and make peace with the love that is lost. "Home" is where love resides and if your heart can be filled with love for others, regardless of your divorce, then you will be home for Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Choose Happiness!
Being "home" for Christmas is so important to each of us in a different way. Growing up in an Air Force family, "home" to my parents meant Missouri. We would often travel "home" for Christmas to spend time with my grandparents, spending part of the holiday with my mom's family and part with my dad's. In 1967 my father was stationed in Los Alamos, NM. It had already snowed twelve inches by the time we left Los Alamos after school that day and we made it only to Tucumcari, NM that night after hours of treacherous roads, the plan having been to go to Oklahoma City, we were disappointed to make it only this far, but we saw so many vehicles off the road, we felt lucky. The most striking sight I saw on that trip was a semi-truck turned over and all it's oranges spilled onto the side of the road in the snow. It was magical to me as a child of eight to see all that orange scattered across the snow. What should have been a two day trip turned into three, but we made it unscathed and my parents were relieved to be home, and my sisters and I were just excited for Christmas and cousins.
When the economy turned bad last year, Steve and I moved our belongings from our occasional apartment in Salem, OR which his company leased for us while there on business, but had to let go, back to our home in Memphis. We left there in four inches of snow and crept just in front of the worst of the storm across Oregon, Idaho, Wyoming, Nebraska, Missouri and into Memphis. We so looked forward to being home for Christmas and arrived two days before our annual Christmas party, relieved to be safe. How grateful we were then to be able to celebrate with our friends and family and enjoy our time with them.
When our church worship leader did a special tribute for families this past Sunday and sang "I'll be home for Christmas," I started down this memory lane that I've shared with you and started thinking about "home" and all the different connotations it has for me. When you spend your childhood moving every few years, you soon realize home is where the heart is, where family abides, where those you love most in the world live. I do not have a childhood home, but I do not see this as a disadvantage. It has made my life better to know that relationships matter more than any material goods, that a house is just a house until you make it a home, and that regardless of the miles that separate us from those we love, our hearts are bound in love and thankfulness for the times we have spent together. My "home" now is where I abide with my husband in love.
I remember well the first Christmas after divorce when "home" felt so scattered, so undefinable, and well, depressing, but there was solace in knowing that regardless of the loss of this one relationship, I still had the love of my children, my family and friends and this is how I pulled myself through the holidays. I encourage you if this is your first Christmas divorced to cling to the other relationships in your life and look to all the love there and make peace with the love that is lost. "Home" is where love resides and if your heart can be filled with love for others, regardless of your divorce, then you will be home for Christmas.
Merry Christmas!
Choose Happiness!
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Christmas again?
When I was a little girl, I remember my mom saying almost every year as Christmas drew near, "I can't believe Christmas is already here again!" And I would roll my eyes and counter that it seemed like at least three years since it had been Christmas and how could she say such a thing! Funny, now I feel the same way. Time flies by so fast! And this has me thinking about what I do with my time.
I am reading The Middle Place, by Kelly Corrigan, the memoir of a woman, 37 years old, diagnosed with cancer. Time becomes everything when you are faced with possible death. The mother of two very young girls, she finds herself highly aware of the time she spends with them. The "what if this is it?" time that most of us are never made to face.
So my thoughts have really been concentrated on time, especially since I had that 50th birthday! I have been reminding myself to enjoy every day, find the little things to be thankful for each day, accomplish something worthwhile each day, and avoid wasting time. This doesn't mean filling our days with activity, but to make sure, whatever we are doing is meaningful and worthwhile. Reading, thinking, talking to family and friends, spending time together, and making my work time meaningful too.
Divorce can get the best of you though, and if you are not taking the time each day to make your day meaningful and choosing to be happy, days, months, or years can slip by and you will look back and realize "I have wasted so much precious time." Don't let this happen to you.
Take some time to write in your journal how you might make your time more meaningful. Are you spending time in front of the television or spending time with your kids, other family or friends? Are you angry and bitter at the world, or each day choosing happiness and grateful for just being alive!
Seek out those you love and spend some time together over this holiday season! Love your life! Choose happiness!
I am reading The Middle Place, by Kelly Corrigan, the memoir of a woman, 37 years old, diagnosed with cancer. Time becomes everything when you are faced with possible death. The mother of two very young girls, she finds herself highly aware of the time she spends with them. The "what if this is it?" time that most of us are never made to face.
So my thoughts have really been concentrated on time, especially since I had that 50th birthday! I have been reminding myself to enjoy every day, find the little things to be thankful for each day, accomplish something worthwhile each day, and avoid wasting time. This doesn't mean filling our days with activity, but to make sure, whatever we are doing is meaningful and worthwhile. Reading, thinking, talking to family and friends, spending time together, and making my work time meaningful too.
Divorce can get the best of you though, and if you are not taking the time each day to make your day meaningful and choosing to be happy, days, months, or years can slip by and you will look back and realize "I have wasted so much precious time." Don't let this happen to you.
Take some time to write in your journal how you might make your time more meaningful. Are you spending time in front of the television or spending time with your kids, other family or friends? Are you angry and bitter at the world, or each day choosing happiness and grateful for just being alive!
Seek out those you love and spend some time together over this holiday season! Love your life! Choose happiness!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tis the season!
Ah, Christmas, the most wonderful time of the year! At least it can be, but for those just going through a divorce or in the aftermath of divorce, this can be the toughest time of the year. There is no way to sugarcoat the feelings you may be experiencing so you will have to find a way to deal with what may seem a very dark time. If you have children, then it becomes even that much more imperative. Their lives have been turned upside down, so helping them adjust and still find the Christmas spirit is important.
The temptation to not decorate may be great, but if you have always decorated for the holiday, then you must do it for yourself and for the children. One year, not long after my divorce, I was going to be out of town for much of the holiday season, but decided I still had to do something to give my home that Christmas feeling, so I decorated the hall tree with lights and stockings and greenery! It was beautiful and kept my spirits up until I could leave to be with friends and family.
Following a divorce, there may certainly be financial constraints. Turning this into a tirade about the other parent and how divorce has affected the finances is not healthy for anyone, so think of ways to put a positive spin on the situation. Maybe this year everyone has to make something for each other; or maybe you give gifts of service to each other. We all at times can get too caught up in the material world of Christmas, but finding creative ways to deal with the situation can make this the best time and give everyone the most fun they have experienced. In my book I talk about creating new rituals around the holiday. Everything has changed, and pretending that it hasn't won't make the changes go away, so come up with some new rituals to incorporate around the old rituals that may have become difficult to undertake or complete with your new situation.
If this is the first Christmas since the divorce, you will more than likely be splitting time with your children. This can be the toughest aspect, but preparing ahead by making plans on how to spend your time while the children are with their other parent is important. If you have other friends in your situation, make plans together. Maybe dinner in someone's home, or maybe a movie day. If you would rather be alone, that's fine too, as long as you have a plan for how to spend the day. It is too easy to get weepy and feel sorry for yourself if you are home alone with nothing to do but watch television, so clean out the attic, or your closet, maybe the garage, or read, bake for someone, work on a project you have been putting off, but no sad movies! Volunteering at a shelter or giving back to others is always a great way to lift your spirits and those of others.
Choosing happiness during the holidays may be tough, but with some creative planning and positive attitude, you may find this to be one of your happiest Christmas's ever!
Spend time in your journal this week planning and preparing for the holidays. What can you do to keep your spirits up? Which friends and family will help support and lift you up? Write about the feelings you have and then remember all you have to be grateful for this time of year and all year!
The temptation to not decorate may be great, but if you have always decorated for the holiday, then you must do it for yourself and for the children. One year, not long after my divorce, I was going to be out of town for much of the holiday season, but decided I still had to do something to give my home that Christmas feeling, so I decorated the hall tree with lights and stockings and greenery! It was beautiful and kept my spirits up until I could leave to be with friends and family.
Following a divorce, there may certainly be financial constraints. Turning this into a tirade about the other parent and how divorce has affected the finances is not healthy for anyone, so think of ways to put a positive spin on the situation. Maybe this year everyone has to make something for each other; or maybe you give gifts of service to each other. We all at times can get too caught up in the material world of Christmas, but finding creative ways to deal with the situation can make this the best time and give everyone the most fun they have experienced. In my book I talk about creating new rituals around the holiday. Everything has changed, and pretending that it hasn't won't make the changes go away, so come up with some new rituals to incorporate around the old rituals that may have become difficult to undertake or complete with your new situation.
If this is the first Christmas since the divorce, you will more than likely be splitting time with your children. This can be the toughest aspect, but preparing ahead by making plans on how to spend your time while the children are with their other parent is important. If you have other friends in your situation, make plans together. Maybe dinner in someone's home, or maybe a movie day. If you would rather be alone, that's fine too, as long as you have a plan for how to spend the day. It is too easy to get weepy and feel sorry for yourself if you are home alone with nothing to do but watch television, so clean out the attic, or your closet, maybe the garage, or read, bake for someone, work on a project you have been putting off, but no sad movies! Volunteering at a shelter or giving back to others is always a great way to lift your spirits and those of others.
Choosing happiness during the holidays may be tough, but with some creative planning and positive attitude, you may find this to be one of your happiest Christmas's ever!
Spend time in your journal this week planning and preparing for the holidays. What can you do to keep your spirits up? Which friends and family will help support and lift you up? Write about the feelings you have and then remember all you have to be grateful for this time of year and all year!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Birthdays!
I celebrated my 50th birthday on November 17, one of those landmark birthdays. I have never been bothered by my age, but I have found myself contemplating my life a little more thoroughly and taking stock of all I have accomplished and what I still want to do with my life. I have been reading Marianne Williamson's The Age of Miracles, and really enjoying her thoughts on midlife. We all have some regrets and we all have dreams, but this is no time to get stuck and wallow, but a time to start living each and every day to the fullest if you haven't been doing so yet this far. I believe I have been doing pretty well, but sometimes get stuck on a regret or a sorrow and have to pull myself back to living the moment! I also realize some really great opportunities are fleeting like a three year old granddaughter saying, "Granmma, will you hold me?" while I'm unloading the dishwasher and that instant of saying, "I will be through in a minute," and then realizing this is one of those moments you don't put off, you just grab it and enjoy because someone else will finish unloading or I can come back to it in awhile. As you might guess, this did happen on Thanksgiving day, and I laughed at myself as I quickly ran after her and grabbed her up in my arms.
We have so much to be thankful for everyday no matter our circumstances, no matter our past, our future, our regrets, our happiness, our sorrows. Finding just one simple pleasure in each day can make the difference in whether or not you choose happiness for yourself. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, and let us all remember to be thankful all year and not just during the holidays! Spend some time this week writing about the little things that bring you happiness! (Like scooping up that little one in your arms!) Choose happiness!
We have so much to be thankful for everyday no matter our circumstances, no matter our past, our future, our regrets, our happiness, our sorrows. Finding just one simple pleasure in each day can make the difference in whether or not you choose happiness for yourself. I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend, and let us all remember to be thankful all year and not just during the holidays! Spend some time this week writing about the little things that bring you happiness! (Like scooping up that little one in your arms!) Choose happiness!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Choosing Happiness After Divorce to air on KENW-TV
Quick update on program I filmed at KENW-TV a public television station located on the campus of Eastern New Mexico University campus in Portales, New Mexico. The show, Choosing Happiness After Divorce, will air Monday, November 30 at 10:30 a.m. on 3-1 (HD), Tuesday, December 1 at 8:30 p.m. on regular cable 3 and 3-2 and again on Sunday, December 6 at 2:30 p.m. again on regular cable. They are hoping to go national with this program during the March pledge drive. Ask your local public television station to carry this program.
I discuss seven keys to happiness and how following the information in my book can help you to choose happiness each day in your life. We had a live audience and a great response to the program. I hope you will watch if you are in the Portales area and if not, call or email your local station and ask them to carry this program!
I have been slow on updating my blog lately. I have been on the road so much and have become a bit discouraged about whether I'm reaching others, but I have decided that maybe I have been looking at this wrong and that if I want followers I will need to just write and they will come! Right?
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I have been enjoying the thanksgiving of a new grandson in our lives, as well as my other three grandchildren and my sons and their wives. Life is incredibly good, and being able to spend this holiday with them has been wonderful!
So watch for my new more frequent postings and I hope you will let me know what brings happiness to your life!
I discuss seven keys to happiness and how following the information in my book can help you to choose happiness each day in your life. We had a live audience and a great response to the program. I hope you will watch if you are in the Portales area and if not, call or email your local station and ask them to carry this program!
I have been slow on updating my blog lately. I have been on the road so much and have become a bit discouraged about whether I'm reaching others, but I have decided that maybe I have been looking at this wrong and that if I want followers I will need to just write and they will come! Right?
I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! I have been enjoying the thanksgiving of a new grandson in our lives, as well as my other three grandchildren and my sons and their wives. Life is incredibly good, and being able to spend this holiday with them has been wonderful!
So watch for my new more frequent postings and I hope you will let me know what brings happiness to your life!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Welcome to the World Payton!
Last night at 10:22 p.m. Payton Matthew arrived in this world! He weighed in at 6 pounds 11 ounces, the first baby of my son Matthew and my daughter-in-law, Sara. What a joyful occassion for our entire family! Living too far away to be there for the birth, I am anxiously awaiting my flight on the 21st to be there with them and to celebrate Thanksgiving together! Talk about happy! My favorite holiday combined with the bonus of a new grandbaby, I can hardly contain my joy! As I write though, I know there are those living in the pain of divorce, finding it difficult to choose happiness on even the most joyful occassions, but this is what I know, choice is the key word here. You have the choice each and every moment of every day to choose happiness, to find the joy in the moment, to celebrate all life has to offer.
I am the gramma who does not live near by, who doesn't get to revel in the daily pleasures of being close to children and grandchildren and all they have to offer. I also live with the knowledge that my ex lives in the same town and remarried this summer, and I know that they will play an active part in little baby Payton's life. I could choose to be jealous, or bitter, or sad, or any number of emotions, but instead I choose to look at it this way: I have a new grandson who is and will be loved by all the grandparents and we will each form our bonds with him in our own ways and enjoy the happiness he brings. All the new relationships that arise after divorce can be tough, but when we as adults act in a mature, loving, kind manner, the children can survive and thrive, and overcome the mistakes of their parents and hopefully choose happiness for themselves!
If you are struggling with the other relationships your children or grandchildren are forming with the new additions to their lives, spend some time writing about your feelings. List all the positives new relationships can bring to our lives and consider this, to be loved by many is far greater than to live closed off and bitter towards step-parents or step-grandparents. Be the example and model love and kindness. You will make a difference and be loved far greater for your efforts!
I am the gramma who does not live near by, who doesn't get to revel in the daily pleasures of being close to children and grandchildren and all they have to offer. I also live with the knowledge that my ex lives in the same town and remarried this summer, and I know that they will play an active part in little baby Payton's life. I could choose to be jealous, or bitter, or sad, or any number of emotions, but instead I choose to look at it this way: I have a new grandson who is and will be loved by all the grandparents and we will each form our bonds with him in our own ways and enjoy the happiness he brings. All the new relationships that arise after divorce can be tough, but when we as adults act in a mature, loving, kind manner, the children can survive and thrive, and overcome the mistakes of their parents and hopefully choose happiness for themselves!
If you are struggling with the other relationships your children or grandchildren are forming with the new additions to their lives, spend some time writing about your feelings. List all the positives new relationships can bring to our lives and consider this, to be loved by many is far greater than to live closed off and bitter towards step-parents or step-grandparents. Be the example and model love and kindness. You will make a difference and be loved far greater for your efforts!
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