Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Cleaning up the mess!

When divorce occurs one person moves out of the family home and one usually remains behind, even if only until the property sales. For the person who remains behind then, there is often a great deal of “stuff” left from the marriage: a garage or attic full of boxes, old clothes and furniture stored away, memorabilia from possibly both your lives and pictures, often stuffed in boxes, if you were married before the digital age. This can feel really overwhelming, as just having to deal with it can bring back memories that you are working to forget. Yet cleaning out and throwing away can help you heal. So how do you take on this project? First and foremost, do not throw out things that belong to your ex that he or she has not had a chance to retrieve. Call or email and give an opportunity for him to come over and pick up his remaining items. Be fair and be kind, no matter the circumstances of your divorce. Then set out on a methodical, planned and plotted mission to clean up and clear out your space. Set aside a little time each week, even if only an hour here or there, and choose a spot to work on and get going. There are many books on the market that can give you tips on cleaning and organizing that you might find helpful. After my divorce, I moved twice before I finally realized I had to do some serious weeding of my stuff. Before my last move, I literally went through everything in my house and discarded, sold or gave away nearly all of my furniture, and unnecessary items. I cannot tell you how freeing it felt, what a burden was lifted from my shoulders, in not having to deal with so much “stuff” again! The move became a breeze and now I still find it much easier to discard or give away items that are unnecessary or to not buy them in the first place. Cleaning up your mess will make you feel better and help continue your choice of happiness! Spend some time walking through your home and noting the cluttered spaces, including closets, attics and garages. Write about how you want to tackle this project. Is there anyone who would help you? Do you need a blueprint to follow by purchasing a how to guide? Write out a plan for yourself and a date to begin. This will help make the project real and help get you started. If there is a move pending on the horizon, then set a deadline as well, giving yourself a goal to achieve. Trust me; you will not believe how much better you will feel once the excess is gone. Good luck!