Welcome to the World Payton!

Last night at 10:22 p.m. Payton Matthew arrived in this world! He weighed in at 6 pounds 11 ounces, the first baby of my son Matthew and my daughter-in-law, Sara. What a joyful occassion for our entire family! Living too far away to be there for the birth, I am anxiously awaiting my flight on the 21st to be there with them and to celebrate Thanksgiving together! Talk about happy! My favorite holiday combined with the bonus of a new grandbaby, I can hardly contain my joy! As I write though, I know there are those living in the pain of divorce, finding it difficult to choose happiness on even the most joyful occassions, but this is what I know, choice is the key word here. You have the choice each and every moment of every day to choose happiness, to find the joy in the moment, to celebrate all life has to offer.

I am the gramma who does not live near by, who doesn't get to revel in the daily pleasures of being close to children and grandchildren and all they have to offer. I also live with the knowledge that my ex lives in the same town and remarried this summer, and I know that they will play an active part in little baby Payton's life. I could choose to be jealous, or bitter, or sad, or any number of emotions, but instead I choose to look at it this way: I have a new grandson who is and will be loved by all the grandparents and we will each form our bonds with him in our own ways and enjoy the happiness he brings. All the new relationships that arise after divorce can be tough, but when we as adults act in a mature, loving, kind manner, the children can survive and thrive, and overcome the mistakes of their parents and hopefully choose happiness for themselves!

If you are struggling with the other relationships your children or grandchildren are forming with the new additions to their lives, spend some time writing about your feelings. List all the positives new relationships can bring to our lives and consider this, to be loved by many is far greater than to live closed off and bitter towards step-parents or step-grandparents. Be the example and model love and kindness. You will make a difference and be loved far greater for your efforts!